when will this clear...

Jeepers Creepers,

Where'd you get those peepers,

Creep show, peep show

Where did you get those eyes........ Souxsie

well, I've been thinking too much, spending much, too much time alone.. My creative juices are running dry and i'm stuffed if i know what i should do next...

I have been singing a bit, to myself.. I have been doing Hyperballad By Bjork, and Roads by Portishead along with Sans Souci by Peggy Lee,( I wish i could have found those bloody lyrics, there's one part i have no idea of)

I have no frikin idea what i should do about the gigs in September. All i want to do, is pull the blanket over my head and stare into space..but that'l get me nowhere...maybe a little further down from where i am....

I see myself from a distance and i want to shake me, but i can't get through.. I go to move and i'm immobilised...I am frightened at what I have become.. I am frightened I will never snap out of this.....fog.

I hold my head in my hands, and scream from the inside... I feel like I'm bound.. I don't want to be here, but i think i can't do it alone anymore... I don't know how to ask for help, I've always been too proud... I should be stronger than this...

I am hoping the medication will start working..its only makes me really tired.....which in fact makes me feel like a big slob....

I need to have more patience, I can't expect things to work instantly..

I was told, its not about getting somewhere, its about the journey.... I am not enjoying this journey at all.... I am unclear about what lessons i am learning from all this. Why am I experiencing this.... i have compassion for others..I dont understand it.